How Transformational Life Coaching Saved Her Life, Interview With Women’s Life Coach, Alejandra Duenas From Broomfield, CO
Why You Should Hire A Life Coach
If you’re trying to get better at the game of life, transformational life coaching is essential to creating consistent growth.
Anyone who’s trying to continually improve upon anything, whether it’s their tennis game, the business game, the game of life—especially if it’s something as important as the game of life—needs a coach.
And what’s a more important game than the game of life?
In order to go from accomplishing at a certain level to accomplishing at the next, we literally need to become a different person.
We can’t do that by ourselves.
Einstein said something like: You can’t solve a problem from the same consciousness that caused it.
We need someone who knows it can be done and believes in us to help us bridge the gap while moving from one consciousness to the other.
In this blog post we’re going to discuss what transformational life coaching is, who it’s for, and more importantly, who it’s not for.
I talked to Alejandra Duenas, a women’s life coach who runs a 12 step life coaching program in Broomfield, Colorado.
Alejandra works primarily with women but whether women or men, the principles of transformation are the same.
If you prefer to watch and listen you can check out the video interview that I did with Alejandra Duenas that is the source for this blog article:
…or listen to the podcast version and/or look for the BioSoul Integration Podcast wherever you listen to your audio podcasts:
What Is Transformational Life Coaching?
Dr. Jay: Over the years I’ve been to chiropractors, Network Chiropractors, shamanic practitioners and therapists.
I’ve hired coaches for my business.
One of the biggest things that they always stressed is that it’s about mindset, especially as someone whose business is closely related to who I am on a soul level.
Could you tell us a little bit about what life coaching is about first of all, and then tell us about your special brand of intuitive life coaching.
Alejandra: I resonate with what you’re saying.
Your business its own life coaching program within itself because it teaches you so many things.
It’s like jumping out of your comfort zone and peeling back the layers of yourself to get to know those layers more deeply.
So I feel like the Three C’s Method is a life coaching program within itself for me, too.
The more I work on myself and work on healing myself, the better that I can show up for my clients, and I’m sure you feel the same way.
As a life coach, I help women take back control of their mental and emotional health.
I help them show up consistently towards their goals and I help them find more confidence within themselves.
So I would say what a life coach does would be to help the client with whatever’s going on in their lives that they need help with.
So it’s really dependent on the client’s goals.
The number one thing that I hear women wanting out of my program out of coaching is to just be happy.
I believe this is where life coaching comes in.
We help the individual just get to that space of seeing things that they’re not aware of—seeing any obstacles or any patterns or conditionings that they’re stuck in.
We can get them unstuck and into the path of their purpose, moving toward their goals, and ultimately, a sense of happiness and fulfillment inside.
So I would say that’s generally what a life coach would do.
I specifically help them in the area of mental and emotional health in gaining confidence and in time management.
What Does A Transformational Coach Do?
Dr. Jay: So it doesn’t necessarily have to be with business?
Just any area of a person’s life where they’re looking to be more effective?
Alejandra: I’ve actually had coaches who are just starting their journey as a coach.
The biggest thing that’s stopping them is their insecurities of showing up on social media and showing up who they are.
There’s a lot of fear and a lot of perfectionism that gets in the way of them just getting started.
I would say with women, the number one thing that I see them struggling with is in the area of self-love and living in their worth and believing that they’re good enough.
And I’ve helped women, as well, in the area of mental health, healing their anxiety and depression as well.
The number one thing is trauma, which is something that we’ve all undergone.
So I help them in the area of healing the trauma, breaking the patterns and conditionings that they’ve been so stuck in so that they can really access their full potential.
How Does Trauma Inform Life Coaching?
Dr. Jay: How did those traumas happen?
Where do they get started?
Alejandra: It starts in childhood.
What I see is that it can be hard for some people to admit that trauma starts in childhood.
That’s because you may have had the absolute best parents in the world and you may feel guilty.
Dr. Jay: My life wasn’t traumatic.
But there are still things that happened that have left a mark on me.
Alejandra: Exactly, and there might be some guilt around just sharing that.
The reality is that no parent is perfect.
So even the most seemingly perfect parent isn’t able to meet all of the child’s needs.
And as a kid, they’re not able to verbalize what their needs are.
So they’re not able to tell you, “Hey mom, dad, you’re not meeting X, Y, and Z,” because they don’t even know that.
So the trauma starts there when we’re not being nourished and our needs aren’t being met.
Of course, there are some worst cases than others.
Then there’s cases where parents try their best to be there and fulfill their kids’ needs to the best of their potential.
But those small needs of maybe nourishment or love, of feeling contained, feeling safe in their body as they start to grow up and explore… those can’t always be met perfectly.
It’s that undernourished part which then projects how we show up in the world.
But of course, I’ve helped women as well, who have gone through sexual abuse, who have gone through physical abuse.
And that’s the whole form of trauma within itself.
But it’s rooted in childhood too, right?
I may have women who have experienced sexual abuse and continue to stay in relationships that are sexually abusive and it leads back to their self worth.
It leads back to them believing that that’s what they’re worth and that that’s what they deserve.
So a lot of the work that I do, although it might seem like it’s different because I work on mental health and consistency and confidence, but it really is all linked together.
The more that you learn to love yourself and nourish yourself, the more that you’re able to heal your mental and emotional health and the more that you’re able to show up consistently for yourself.
Trauma That We Can’t Remember
Dr. Jay: So it starts really early and then sort of bleeds into our life.
I find in my work that the part of our nervous system that’s online when we’re in the womb is gathering information about how to be human.
We pick up on how to do this human thing from the people that are around us.
So people might understand their trauma academically speaking but they don’t understand why this pattern keeps on showing upin their life.
But it could be something that’s been in our lineage that we pick up and it’s our time to heal it for ourselves and our ancestors.
Do you find that trauma includes those things we pick up before we can remember, from those who came before us or from past lives, even?
Alejandra: I am a spiritual life coach.
I work with a lot of past life trauma and generational trauma which can be taking place.
With generational trauma that’s been passed down to you from your lineage, and with past life trauma, it depends on the client.
I’m not someone to try to convince people to believe things that they don’t.
So I may have women coming in who don’t believe in past lives.
So that’s just something that we don’t work on.
We work on what honors their belief systems and their values.
That being said, past life trauma and generational trauma are definitely a factor in how we show up in our day to day lives.
How Do You Work?
Dr. Jay: It’s pretty deeply engrained stuff so how do you work on that stuff?
Alejandra: The number one exercise that comes to mind is called time technique.
It’s like a meditation where you’re imagining a timeline and you’re able to go to your past, present and future.
You’re able to go to a place in your timeline when you’re in the womb.
As an example I’ll share my experience: I was able to tap into my past lives through time technique and really deeply see some of the lives that I’ve had in the past that way.
So that can be very helpful for someone who has an inkling that there is something from past lives that’s affecting them.
Time technique can help you access something that you’re not aware of.
It could come in visual form, it could be a feeling or it coul djust be a knowing that you experienced something in the past.
You don’t have to know what has happened in a past life or in your lineage to heal that trauma.
It’s just about doing the work within yourself now to heal the feeling of not feeling safe and not feeling loved in your body.
That’s why a lot of the work and exercises that we do are around creating safety and creating nourishment in your body.
We want to gain awareness of what patterns effect you and when you’re in pattern so you can recognize it and pull yourself out of it.
All of that is in the subconscious mind.
But because of neuroplasticity you can start to require the subconscious mind in the way that you want—in a way that is going to be empowering rather than limiting.
Trauma Is Stored In The Body: Somatic Coaching
Dr. Jay: Psychotherapy is great different times, of course, and the survival programs we create started before we could think—so it’s stored deeply in our systems.
So we can’t really think our way through it.
We can only really feel our way through it.
So your time technique sounds like that helps the subconscious mind relax enough so there’s some safety in the system and people can start to feel the energy that that they’re binding up in their system.
Alejandra: Yes, trauma is very much stored in the body.
So we do somatic work to help trauma that’s stored in the body, things as simple as screaming into a pillow or punching a pillow or shaking and doing rage dancing.
EFT is a really great for releasing stagnant energy in the body due to trauma.
So it’s not just learning or just meditation.
It’s active work that you have to do with the body to release the stored trauma.
How Alejandra Became A Life Coach
Dr. Jay: I’ve been a chiropractor for 20 years or so and I come through the world of chiropractic.
I know a lot of chiropractors who’ve had some big experience that sort of led them to chiropractic.
I wonder if you’ve had an experience that sort of led you to intuitive life coaching.
Alejandra: Yes, about six years ago I hit a point where I was really depressed and I wanted to end my life.
I was in full on victim mode.
I felt like everyone was against me.
Everything was crashing down and I realized it was up to me to figure it out.
My family started noticing and my mom got me a therapist, but that didn’t really work out.
I didn’t really fully connect with that.
And then my sister introduce me to a spiritual life coach.
Her name is Sophie and she was really the one who turned my life around completely.
During that time, I looked up to her, I loved her and I still do love her so much.
But I never saw it as a now-I’m-going-to-be-a-coach kinda thing.
I was actually studying fashion design and I have a bachelor’s in fashion design.
I clearly did not pursue that, but at the time my mind was in fashion design.
Actually it was years later when I was having gut health issues that I decided to get certified as a holistic health coach.
I thought it was going to be more of like what-am-I-eating—more about the physical area of my health.
I actually got certified as a holistic health coach, not because I wanted to be a coach, but simply because I wanted to take on a health course that would help me.
And what I learned about holistic health is that it’s not just what you’re eating.
It’s so much about your mental state.
It’s so much about your emotions and healing your mind.
Then I really started getting more into the mental and emotional health aspect of holistic coaching.
And that’s when I started pursuing more of the area of life coaching.
But once I got that certification, I was like, “Well, let’s try this out.”
I was certified, I figured I might as well try it and see if I can start coaching people.
And I did… I decided to quit my corporate job in the fashion industry and I full-on pursued coaching.
That was big for me because I was getting paid a good salary in the corporate fashion world.
I wasn’t really happy doing the corporate thing, though, so it wasn’t like I was leaving something that I was really enjoying.
So I left my corporate job and I decided to pursue life coaching.
It was huge because I had no way to pay for the next month of my life.
I’m the kind of person to take risks and just trust myself.
So I recognized that this was my chance.
I had a month to really show up on social media—on Instagram, which is what I was using at first, the most—and start getting clients.
It was crazy and I just pushed myself to do it.
I was barely able to pay rent the next month.
I got a few clients, which took a lot because, you know how it goes with sales.
I think the average sales rate is 30%.
I hd to go through 30 sales calls to get someone to say yes.
I was so committed to my purpose even though a lot of people said no.
I had the mindset that this was going to work, no matter how many no’s I got.
I was just in the mindset that every no got me closer to a yes and that’s the kind of commitment and determination I had.
And before I knew it, I was actually changing people’s lives.
I never would have thought that that would happen.
I didn’t grow up thinking I was going to be a coach.
But I realized how much of an impact that was making on women’s lives and how much I loved it.
I love to genuinely genuinely connect with women and help them.
And I was like, wow, I’m actually really good at this.
And people actually want to hire me.
And that’s what led to me creating a group coaching program and creating the Three C’s Method.
Born To Be A Transformational Life Coach
Dr. Jay: Wow, to come from a place where you didn’t know if you wanted to be here to where you are now… that’s so brave.
Did you have some sense of connection to spirit growing up, otherwise I don’t know how or why you’d be able to do such a thing?
Alejandra: I grew up a very spiritual person because I had two aunts who were fully into all the spiritual things, all the woo-woo things.
When I was living in Florida and I remember my parents not even wanting me to be too close to them.
They were kind of women that were shunned from the family, because they would speak about all these spiritual thing.
Dr. Jay: Was it a religious thing for them or were they “scientific?”
Why didn’t they like it?
Alejandra: They were definitely more religious and they didn’t believe in Reiki and astrology and healing work and how you can create anything, you know, law of attraction, manifestation and all these different things.
But then again, that’s not what they grew up with.
So it was something that brought up a lot of resistance for them.
So yes, my parents were always wary of me hanging out with my two aunts for too long, but I loved them.
Dr. Jay: Thank God (ironically) for those aunts.
Alejandra: They taught me so much.
I see people reading books, like The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz, for example.
Well I read that when I was 13.
I was reading Deepak Chopra when I was in my teens and all of the work that now it’s becoming very much more popular.
Spirituality is definitely becoming more available to people through the power of social media.
And it’s crazy because even though I grew up knowing the power of the mind and that you can create your own reality and so many of these concepts, I still was in a place where I was depressed.
I think I was twenty when I reached a point where I was really depressed.
And I think that’s why working with a spiritual life coach helped me the most because the topics that she was covering were things that I already knew.
I remember even in my twenties when I first read The Power Of Now by Eckhart Tolle, and that’s the first time that I realized what even being present was.
I never even knew that I had lived most of my life never being present.
I was so dedicated to show up and do the work that I remember every single day, waking up and actively working on being present every time I’d hear a thought, I’d push it away and just focus on being present and living and loving my life.
And I really believe that that’s a huge reason as to why I was able to turn my depression around.
So yes, I grew up with a lot of these concepts that are now much more popular.
So I think that that made it that much easier for me to so effortlessly become a life coach because I had so much wisdom to give my clients.
I ended up working with clients my age, or even older women in their thirties, forties, and fifties.
And they were all shocked, wondering how do you know all this information?
Alejandra: Briefly touching on past lives, I know my purpose in this lifetime.
I know that everyone’s purpose in this lifetime is to give and to be of service.
But I know through my many past lives, I just have a lot of wisdom to give in this lifetime.
Who Are Good Candidates To Work With You?
Dr. Jay: I had this crazy sort of mystical awakening from reading Eckhart Tolle’s book A New Earth.
I had a direct transmission of what it meant to be really present.
So he’s been a big part of my world too.
I get the sense that the people who would hit the ground running with you would be people who understand some of this stuff already and who have been through a spiritual journey and have done some work and are ready to lean into their healing on another level.
Alejandra: I work with women who need help becoming empowered.
I would say that all women have the potential of working with me, but it all really depends on the amount of commitment that they have and how willing they are to jump into something that might involve some discomfort.
Because jumping into this program, they’re diving into their past trauma.
They’re diving into their wounds and a lot of people aren’t ready for that.
As much as they may want to be, they’re not ready to actually show up and commit to that.
So one thing that I share on all of the sales calls that I jump on with potential clients is that I can give you all the knowledge and all the information in the world, but unless you’re going to be committed to take action and show up you’re not going to get anything out of this program.
So as much as I would say all women have the potential of joining this program, it’s really determined by how committed they are to show up and to do the work.
It doesn’t really matter where they’re at in the area of spirituality.
I’ve helped women from so many different religions, as well.
I think sometimes we get confused and think that spirituality is something that’s going to be totally out there.
But there’s this guidance of spirit in every religion.
So I wouldn’t say that you would have to be non-religious and just spiritual to join the program.
I think you could be absolutely of any religion.
You just have to have an open mind and be prepared to show up and do the work for yourself.
I think that’s what’s important.
If I were to have clients who joined the program, learned all the information, but didn’t take action, it wouldn’t make a difference.
The key ingredient in what would be an ideal client is someone who’s truly committed to take a leap of faith, jump into the unknown, into what’s uncomfortable, knowing that that’s what’s going to guide them towards growth and towards their highest self.
Dr. Jay: In my work some people think that I’m going to magically heal them.
But actually the goal is to wake something up in them so that they heal themselves.
Alejandra: I consider myself a healer as well as a spiritual life coach.
The number one thing I share with my clients is that I’m not here to heal you.
So don’t put me on a pedestal.
You are your own person.
Every individual has his or her own answers and their own key towards healing themselves—helping them or being a mentor and facilitating that journey and helping them access that gold that they have inside.
12 Week Life Coaching Program
Dr. Jay: Is there anything else that you want to talk about or anything that you want to mention?
Alejandra: I’ll share more about the program again.
It’s called the 3 C’s Method.
The 3 C’s actually stand for consistency, confidence, and control.
So you’re getting consistency in the area of showing up towards your goals,you’re gaining control of your mental and emotional health and you’re gaining confidence within yourself.
This is where we work on self-love and self-worth inside the program.
This is a 12 week group coaching program.
It’s going to be two years old in February.
Dr. Jay: Do you have any sense of how many clients you’ve worked with over that time?
Alejandra: I’ve worked with close to a hundred clients.
And the power of social media is that I’ve been able to help women from around the world, which is really beautiful.
If anyone is listening to this or watching this and would be interested in learning more, again, you can find me on my Instagram at AlejandraDuenas_.
If you go to the link in my Instagram, I have a free workshop on healing, anxiety, depression, and overthinking.
It’s about a 40 minute to an hour workshop.
That is one of my most popular workshops.
So if there’s anyone that’s looking to really take back control of their mental and emotional health, go ahead, go to that link.
It’s completely free, no strings attached.
So you can just learn a little bit more about how to really take control of your mental health.
And I am always enrolling people for my 12 week life coaching program.
If you are interested you can reach out to me via Instagram and we’ll be able to jump on a discovery call to learn more about what your pain points look like and see if I can support you through that.
Dr. Jay: Well, it’s very awesome to be able to sit down and talk with you, Alejandra.
You’re a really cool woman doing some really important work in the world.
I can only imagine what you’re going to do, where you’re going to go and how many people you’re going to help.
So thanks for having a sit down and chatting with me.
Alejandra: Thank you so much Dr. Day.
I absolutely love being your client as well and getting to experience your work.
Explore What’s Possible
People from Boulder, Lafayette, Erie, Superior, Broomfield and Westminster come to my office in Louisville, CO to receive hands-on BioSoul Integration.
I also do online BioSoul Integration coaching with people who are outside of my area.
If you’d like to explore more deeply click the link to get your free, personalized BioSoul Integration Guide.
The Guide will help pinpoint where you are on the map of the healing journey so you’lll have an idea of where you are in the bigger picture and what the next steps are.
You’ll Learn:
- The Two Main Forces That Drive Our Growth And Evolution & Which Of Those Forces Is Impacting You Right Now
- Twelve Stages Healing That Are Common To Everyone’s Journey & Which Stage You’re In Right Now
- How To Speed Up And Smooth Out Uncomfortable Parts Of The Healing Process
- How To Know When You’re On The Path To Expressing Your Authentic Self And Living Your Purpose
- How To Achieve Deep Life Satisfaction Regardless Of External Circumstances
- How To Plot The Course To Get To Your Ultimate Destination- Wholeness
Sincerely,
Jay
About the Author Dr. Jay Uecker
Dr. Jay Uecker is the founder of the BioSoul Integration Center near Boulder, Colorado where he's been practicing for over 20 years. He’s an author, chiropractor, healer, and online soul integration coach who weaves Network Spinal Analysis, intuitive Parts Work, Brainspotting, SomatoRespiratory Integration, and body-centered awareness practices into his own technique, which he calls BioSoul Integration. His work helps people release unconscious resistance stored in the nervous system so they can embody their soul’s gifts and express their purpose more fully. Dr. Jay offers group healing sessions and one-on-one care, both in-person and online. He also offers a self-paced online course and a growing collection of transformational books. For a limited time, claim your FREE copy of If It Didn't Hurt: How to Resolve Your Pain and Discover Your Life Purpose.
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